Unfettered Blather

This actually makes a pretty good follow up to my last piece. I really only watch G4TV for Ninja Warrior and Human Wrecking Balls. The fact that there are other shows on G4TV is about as relevant as there are other shows outside of Mythbusters on the Discovery channel. I simply do not care. Still, I have browsed long enough to catch the geek eyeball traps they call programming and I am surprised at the base level cynicism that is levelled at their target demographic. It would seem that G4TV seems to think having a few hot chicks on a show is enough to rope in the lonely male gamer stereotype that they adhere so strongly to. Sadly, I think this strategy is working. I’m not criticizing G4TV for using lovely young women to entice single 20-something men to watch their shows. This is a tried and true television hook and it seems to work just as well today as it did 50 years ago.

My only real complaint is that I think G4TV is missing out on a real opportunity here. Not just to embrace a stereotype but help shatter it. Instead of just using women in the usual eye candy role, much like the hostesses of the Price is Right back when I was a kid, they are actually expected to interact with the host of the show. That’s fine, just don’t be so crass as to expect anyone with a brain and the ability to turn off lust induced brain freeze (Thank you, Dave Barry) for 5 seconds to actually believe someone like Olivia Munn is anything more than an aspiring model who was lucky enough to land a gig where she can trade on her looks as long as they last. I don’t have a problem with Ms. Munn, I simply don’t believe she is anything more than an opportunisitic wannabe hollywood starlet who is being leveraged as a cheap marketing ploy. Her tendency to dress in fanboyish outfits, such as an outing in the classic ‘Slave Leia’ costume, is a testament to the reliance of G4TV marketing of hoping their demographic is too busy drooling over Munn’s chest to notice they are being easily manipulated.

I actually would mind Olivia Munn less if not for the presence of Morgan Webb. Webb has cleaned up nicely over the years, though she was never bad looking she certainly did appear a little rougher and a lot less polished than Munn ever did. Even so, Morgan Webb is at least a legitimate gamer and displays how you can be attractive and yet still have a fairly geeky hobby. I also think she’s a better representation of the real gaming market. While G4TV is still set on the lonely 20-something can’t get a date demographic the real gaming market has expanded well beyond that. In my mind, Morgan Webb helps break the mold by being attractive and yet has real credibility as a gamer. Olivia Munn looks like she doesn’t know what to do with a game controller. There is a chasm between what these two women represent. Not to mention, once Webb got away from some of the “gamer look” stereotype she actually turned out to be pretty hot in her own right. I didn’t even recognize her at first when I saw the latest X-Play commercials. Not that there was anything wrong with her before, but I like the new look as opposed to the old stereotype of “I’m a girl gamer who happens to be hot but could be just as happy playing a videogame in the basement”. Videogames have moved into family rooms long ago. Webb’s current look may be more mainstream and less “hardcore”, but I like it. I feel like she has a reason to be talking about games. I feel like Munn is laughing behind gamer’s backs.

The biggest problem here though? No matter how cynical the view G4TV is taking towards gamers, so long as gamers continue to tune in for it this will continue.

Let’s get the cynicism out of the way early.

I am well aware that many see the new Star Wars series as a cheap cash grab by George Lucas to indoctrinate new fans of the series so that he can continue to sell merchandise while idly casting aside the many fans who made him a success in the first place. Let me also point out, from an equally cynical standpoint is that, no matter how much these old fans complain, George Lucas could crap in a coffee mug, have his son sketch a picture of a Wookie in marker and someone would pay top dollar for it. Naturally, said person will do so while proclaiming how Lucas is “raping his childhood”. If there is one thing I have never understood about Star Wars fandom is how they can complain so loudly while continually purchasing everything Star Wars.

All cynicism aside, I watched the first two episodes on Cartoon Network with my boys and I thought it was alright. I can tell that I am a bit older than the intended audience, but it was so nice to be able to sit down and watch a space saga with my kids. Quite honestly, recent sci-fi offerings have left me confused. While I have enjoyed Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, none of the recent science fiction shows have been anything I would watch with my children. I appreciate the desire to appeal to an older audience and that it gives greater flexibility, but the dearth of science fiction that is not riddled with fan service makes me wonder how they plan to pull in another generation. In fact, many scifi fans and Star Wars fans alike do not realize that they owe Lucas for bridging what was beginning to look like some kind of entertainment generation gap for the genre as a whole.

I do have one complaint about the show and that is you can’t do suspense when you’re aiming at ten year olds. The second episode just came across as boring. The Jedi in peril (Plo Kloon?) was visible in Episode III, so you know he survives, thus you know that there is no real danger. I understand Lucas is trying to build a brand and sell toys, but bringing in a new character, even this early in the series, might have led to more suspense. Then again, why am I complaining? Compared to Episode II the writing is stellar. I initially bristled at the idea of Anakin Skywalker having his kid sister…uh…a student of his own but it actually works. I’m not entirely sure why they dolled her up, what’s with the tube top instead of Jedi robes? Is this sex appeal for twelve year olds? You know what? That’s a minor nitpick and it doesn’t really bother me, I’m just a cynical old crank who should be happy I can watch something with the kids.

That is what it all comes down to for me. If it weren’t for the kids I’d probably be frothing at the mouth to, but being able to watch it with my children makes all the difference. So if you hate the show, quit watching it, don’t buy anymore merchandise, and resist buying a Clone Trooper costume for Halloween. Otherwise, enjoy it for what it is.

I noticed the advertisements on G4 for a new game show called “Hurl”. Contestants go through an eating contest and then have to do a bunch of exercises like zero-g machines and other naseua inducing activities. The last person to not vomit wins. They are graphically showing people throwing up.

I have a pretty high bodily fluid tolerance, but the last thing I want to see is people repeatedly throwing up. Technicolor yawns are just not something I want to see. Is there really an audience out there that wants to see people losing their lunch? The part that concerns me is that they would only make this show if they thought there was an audience for is.

A common criticism of entertainment pundits or critics is over “brainless” entertainment. This could be anything, books, movies, television, or video games. There is a constant stream of derision spewed at anything they don’t see as intellectually stimulating. They turn there noses up at such offerings and then question the intelligence of people who partake in these pedestrian attempts at entertainment.

Let me respond to this criticism. Up yours!

I’m not too concerned about how intelligent I appear to others, I feel pretty secure in my intelligence. I could offer a list of qualifications to “prove” to you how intelligent I am, but really that’s pointless and doesn’t display that I actually have confidence in my intellectual abilities. However, in defense of “mindless entertainment” let me offer the following. By day I develop or design software. When I’m not doing that I am working with less experience developers helping them find solutions. When I’m not doing that I am analyzing or chasing down requirements. When I’m not doing that I am analyzing programming errors and devising solutions. Essentially, I think all day long. I think for a living. This is not simple stuff like 2+2=x. This is complex logic that requires I follow certain standards, maintain functionality, and protect the business of the company I work for and the customers that rely on our products. I think, I think, and then I think some more.

So when I am not at work, where I get paid to think I want a little downtime, a chance to maybe put the old grey matter into neutral for awhile and just coast. If I want entertainment then I want to be entertained. I don’t necessarily want to be “challenged” or what is more likely is to be preached to about how I am not socially conscious enough, not environmentally conscious enough, not intellectually conscious enough, and so on and so forth. I do not like pretentiuous gasbags who have never met me and know nothing about me demanding I spend my off hours doing the same thing I do all day. Which isn’t to say I eschew anything that makes me think, but I also feel I don’t have to always be engaged in some fashion.

Let’s also not forget that most people who produce entertainment media are really no more intelligent than I am, or more intelligent than the people they routinely produce entertainment for. So when some entertainer, producer, writer, developer, or whatever decides they want to “challenge” their audience it’s not unlike having a kindergartner telling their classmates why they’re such a better kindergartner than everyone else. It’s kind of cute and you want to pat them on their head for this misguided conceit, but they really don’t have much of a case to make. Even if you have someone intelligent producing entertainment, they often then miss the idea that it should be entertaining. Thus, what you are asking me to do is to not enjoy myself in non-work hours and continue to do something I already do all day.

I don’t just think at work, I think all the time. I can’t shut off my brain. When I’m not at work I think about politics, I think about family, I think about religion, I think about how I am raising children, I think about our education system, I think about the state of the world, and so on and so forth. Good Lord people, let me just be entertained! Let me be able to get away from all this nonsense, let me get away from thinking about things I have no control over. Let me escape from my worries and from the problems of the world for just a little while. Quit trying to force your issues upon me!

Let me escape and I promise to not just do that. I promise not to jump from one escapist fantasy to the other. I promise to remain rooted in the real world, but let problems be problems and let entertainment be entertainment.

Typically I don’t do commentary on celebrity screw-ups unless it’s something that’s just too interesting or irritating to pass up. As a result, I have not said much about the whole Jamie-Lynn Spears preganacy scuffle because I honestly think it’s not a big deal in the way people are making a big deal out of it. The whole “role model” thing and “impact of a young star getting pregnant” seems pretty trivial compared to the jeopardy she is placing her own career not to mention all of the people who are employed as a result of Zoey 101. When someone like Ms. Spears gets pregnant and puts her career at risk, she is also risking the jobs of others.

Ok, spiel over, what I really find interesting was the prediction that the 4th season of her show would not air. Now, granted, I’m betting pretty heavily against a 5th season under the circumstances. Not just because she’s pregnant but 5 seasons for that kind of show is probably some kind of special accomplishment anyway. The point is, the 4th season had been completed before her pregnancy announcement. You don’t just throw away an entire season of a show you have already shot, that’s a huge wasted investment and anyone who thought it wouldn’t air obviously has no grasp of what it costs to produce even a relatively low budget show like Zoey 101. Even if advertisers want lower rates and ratings drop, they at least have a shot at recouping some of their costs. Money made by not airing? I’m gonna guess it’s somewhere at ZERO.

While there may be some moral outrage over airing a series where the teenage star is pregnant, I think the powers that be understand it will blow over and will be less financially harmful than pissing off their advertisers. I have to be honest here, even as a fundamentalist Christian, if I were in charge I would probably have continued to air the 4th season as well because there is way too much riding on it. While I think what Ms. Spears did was a stupid career move and incredibly selfish, I think the moral outrage is displaced. I certainly don’t expect moral outrage to lead to a stupid business decision. Having sex and getting pregnant was a stupid move, but having Nickolodeon cancel an entire season of a show would just be another stupid move. I’m not sure how that evens out.