Unfettered Blather

I’m not so prideful that I can’t admit I once hurt myself playing the Wii. Thankfully, I know that I am not alone. One of the reasons Call of Duty 3 has remained as the worst of the worst for my games played this year is the maddening melee mini-game they throw at you during the first real combat. It’s unavoidable. A German soldier assaults you, throws you to the ground, then wrestles you for your rifle. The manual never really tells you what you’re supposed to do and the in-game instructions are abstract at best. I know I’m not exactly a specimen of physical acumen these days but I believe that if I put forth that much effort in a real struggle you’d be on the losing side.

Eventually I gave up. Even though the Gamespy review linked above hinted at a way to get past it I never did find the same forum that handed out the advice. After awhile I just didn’t care. What a boneheaded design decision! On one hand you have the Wii, which is ideally suited for a first-person shooter thanks to its unique controls, but on the other you have a game that was either not playtested or the playtesters were ignored. (I guess the playtesters may have been mentally handicapped for all I know). In the end all I got out of it was a very bad tennis elbow that I had to nurse for a few days and eventually traded in the game. I should probably thank Treyarch for at least bringing so much suck early in the game so I didn’t hit this roadblock at a point where I was really invested.

All the same, what a waste! I really wanted a decent shooter for the Wii, we’re talking really low standards here, and I was given a virtual kick in the balls by Treyarch. I can’t figure out what kind of message they were trying to send. Even if this were not the Wii, I really don’t want quick-time events or mini-games in the middle of my first person shooter. They just don’t fit in there. It would be like watching Rambo and suddenly they had a musical number in between and Stallone popped out of a cake for a burlesque number. That doesn’t fit and no one actually wants it!

Seriously, when developers make games like this I wonder what they are thinking. I agree with the direction of “make good games” is tougher than it sounds, but I think avoiding obvious SUCK would at least be a good start.

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