Worst Games of 2008
For the most part I’d say I made some good choices this year. While none of these games are anything I’d consider even mediocre, almost every one of them represent my lack of research or circumstances. Some were bundles and some were gifts. My goal for 2009 is that my “worst” will be only mediocre games. No more impulse buys.
| WORST GAMES OF 2008 | |
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#10 Fable II Pub Games (X-Box 360) The idea of releasing a faux gambling game that lets you earn money in the actual full game is a neat idea, but these clumsy mini-games are essentially just new versions of Blackjack, Craps, and Slots. That might be oversimplistic, but the games themselves are pointless and giving Live Achievements for things that are essentially random chance doesn’t feel like much of an “achievement”. Maybe if the games were of a higher quality I might have found it a better package. |
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#9 Bankshot Billiards 2 (X-Box 360) In my defense, this came bundled with my X-Box Live subscription so I didn’t pay anything for it. The execution and physics were actually pretty decent, but playing against the A.I. it is hard not to feel like it is constantly cheating. Not to mention, billiards is always something I’ve preferred in the real world and even the best simulations are a far cry from the real game. Maybe I’m biased since I grew up with a pool table in the house. |
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#8 Pac-Man Championship Edition (X-Box 360) A game that came bundled with my X-Box, I really think some of the praise is mere nostalgia. It is an interesting update to a classic title, but offers little unless you just really need to scratch that 80’s itch. Pac-Man was a great game for obsessive compulsives but we’ve come so much farther with videogames since then. The problem is that no matter what you do to the game or layout the maze, it’s still the same damn game. |
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#7 Hexic HD (X-Box 360) I have nothing against casual games on principal, but I do think some of them do have a Bejeweled complex. I think this one tries too hard to be Bejeweled while desperately telling you its not. I’m kind of reminded of the restaurant in Eddie Murphy’s Coming to America that was clearly modelled on McDonald’s even though the owner swore it was different, even though all of the differences he mentioned were incredibly superficial. The icing on the cake was when he was caught in his office reading the McDonald’s operating manual. That is what I think about Hexic and its relationship to Bejeweled. |
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#6 Rock Band Track Pack: AC/DC Live (X-Box 360) Harmonix is such an awesome company and generally release one product after another that is more successful than the last. I know they may not have spent that much time on this, but this game is an utter dog. You can’t import songs, you get a code to download them and you must download them en masse. You cannot import individual songs. Don’t want the kids singing “Highway to Hell” even though you love “T.N.T.”? Tough luck. They say you don’t need Rock Band to play the track pack, but what’s the point? Obviously you’d need to already own some of the peripherals to even play this game, which means you likely already own a copy of Rock Band or Rock Band 2. Not to mention there is a distinct lack of any AC/DC members modelled in the game despite having an entire track pack of their music. This is for AC/DC fans only, and even then you might want to reconsider. |
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#5 Virtual On Marz (Playstation 2) Once upon a time I played the very first Virtual On game in the arcade. The basic premise of the game is giant robot combat in 3D that you controlled like a tank with two control sticks. The console versions that followed struggled because there was no way for consoles to really simulate the control scheme. We finally get one of these games on the PS2, which has 2 analog sticks to parallel the control scheme, and it still controls like the previous Dreamcast version! What. The. Hell? So what could have been a very good game is a barely controllable mess with a ton of robots but combat so shallow that even though it’s relatively easy to unlock new combat it’s difficult to care. A game that has no right to be as bad as it is. |
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#4 Yaris (X-Box 360) Sometimes you do get what you pay for, this game was free! I assume it was a promotional gimmick for Toyota, instead of making what might have been a corny yet enjoyable simple racer they went with more of a sci-fi shooter. Even that might have been interesting, despite controlling various models of Yaris cars outfitted with ray guns, but no real effort went into the actual game. Just a waste of time overall. |
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#3 Carnival Games (Wii) Thankfully I didn’t pay any money for this game. The second game we received for the Wii, it is like the antithesis of Wii Sports. While Wii Sports is a collection of fun games that show off the potential of the Wii controls, Carnival Games is a series of minigames that show off how easily it is to do the controls badly. I can’t help but think that if not for the Wii motion control gimmick that this game would have no point at all. |
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#2 Road Trip: Arcade Edition (Gamecube) A simple look at the back of the package would have shown me that this is not just Everywhere: Road Trip for the Gamecube, but instead a racer made as a spin-off of that game. The problem is that in the original game the races were relatively simple but the cars usually controlled quite well. In this game the cars move wildly around the track and are almost impossible to control. Take away all the other activities and customization of the original game and all you have is a game that will bring frustration and make you wonder why they even bothered. |
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#1 Call of Duty 3 (Wii) A game so bad I physically hurt myself. At first I was embarrassed but then I read a review where a reviewer admitted the same problem. On the very first level a German soldier charges you and pins you to the ground. You must wrestle the rifle away from him before he butts you in the head and insta-deaths you. I never got past this no matter how hard I shook the Wiimote. Apparently there is a trick to getting by this, but the real problem is that the game designers never really tell you how to use the motion controls to get past this point. When the game documentation and in-game instruction leaves you stranded to the point you can’t get past the first level you have achieved a whole new level of badness. |
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January 14th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I’m not sure what aspect to comment on about this particular list because 80% of them I wouldn’t have touched, free or not, with a ten foot hygienic pole. Still I have a few generalized comments.
#10, #9 & #3 - I am not the least bit surprised by this because in the case of #10, taking Nintendo’s questionable motion sensing remote (improvements by users not withstanding) and pairing this up with a team that probably doesn’t quite grasp the fundamental nature of the controllers finer points and the result is a problem composed of several layers that compliment and compound each other.
Over time these games are going to be less and less prevalent because I can’t see the point to playing them unless Nintendo revamps the controller and there is more time for developers to understand the foibles of the device. The remote could be an innovation but so far it’s proven to be gimmicky bullshit and making games for Mickey mouse efforts might sell initially but how many people are going to come back for more after the intial experience?
I would like to see a billiards game played on the Wii for the pure embarrassment factor of it all.
These are casual games at their heart and I always have a suspicion about games where winning is based on small variables in real life physics. How does one recreate the actions of using the que on the ball or throwing darts? It’s like talking without inflection and punctuation. I just don’t see the point because all the while I’m playing, I know something is off.
#7 - I do, on principle naturally.
#6 *Sneezes violently* Oh…excuse me, I’m allergic to quicktime events posing as entire games.
#5 - Look, I had this game, I was going to lend it to you but I realized I kinda see you as my brother and I didn’t want to jeopardize that relationship over something as trivial as a game. I seem to recall my frothing at the mouth and profanity laced diatribes. I traded the game in a few weeks after I bought it and considering how lazy I generally am in regards to trades thats one hell of a motivator. I was afraid I wouldn’t get the most money back.
I was surprised when you mentioned it. This isn’t an “I told you so” because I’d much rather have the time back that we collectively poured in to this title.
Virtual On Marz is one of those games that proves that mediocre can be downright offensive. If I have a giant robot I don’t want to spend half the game trapped in tight corridors and battles in small rooms where you advantage is completely null and void.
I guess I could be extra harsh on the game because I’m a mecha fan.
So I will.
I keep waiting for someone, anyone to release a good action mecha title but nobody does, they can get close but one area of the formula, one ingredient always stinks up the works. Virtual On Marz strikes me as a game that had all of the fun sucked out of it, nothing is intuitive, nothing flows, its just one disjointed motion to the next like a series of random events. I might have been furious if the game wasn’t so determinedly boring that it lulled me in to apathy. The whole game has the giant “eh” feeling to it and thats got to be an accomplishment since the game’s visual and opponents looked like the creators were tripping balls.
#1 - I have played about 70% of the way through the X-Box version and the events you describe are present but rendered as simple quicktiem events. The German soldier that strikes you down is countered by pressing a random button they display, then pumping R and L as fast as you can, and I mean fast. The period of time you have to do this seems like an eternity and only makes you hate it even more.
There are plenty of ways they could have done this without resorting to QT route. For starters all of the QT events are complete, random bullshit. So far I haven’t had a German get close enough to me to actually engage in fisticuffs, but when they do there is no struggle, like all previous FPS they simply cave your face in with a rifle and move along, game over.
This relegates all of the QT events to staged and forced gimmicks. There isn’t a way around the first German, you have to walk past said German even though your squad is standing in the room for several minutes. It just makes no sense. In God of War I can at least avoid most of the QT’s by chaining combos, no suck luck here. Instead of working these elements in to the game, they seem tossed in randomly just to break flow. I’m glad they aren’t, don’t get me wrong, but havign them in there is just confusing.
I won’t complain too loudly about priming and pulling the pins on explosive charges except you get to do it a lot in the British missions
Regenerating health often means unless you are just a complete dimwit then you can survive insane amounts of damage so unless you are just careless (or unlucky), the QT events offer one of the few places where if you don’t perform properly the first time, you’re dead and are forced to replay from the last checkpoint.
There is later stage where you have to paddle a boat across a river under fire by replicating the motions on the analog stick. The motion is damn inconvenient and if you go past the motion too much, you “slip”. As asinine as this was I simply shudder to think of what it would be like with the wiimote. The thought was so sadistic I actually started laughing.
I think its just plain lazy being forced to default to the MP40 because they rarely resupply you, even at a supply base. some levels give you no hint where your objectives are despite arrows and getting stuck on the scenery was a glitch I thought games had outgrown by now. Some Germans can continually regenerate in areas you are unable to assault and take so they just keep coming in the same exact patterns which kills the realism they are trying to reach for..
The rest of the game is pretty much typical WWII shooter fair but more restrictive than the original title and suffers from all the usual “realistic” gameplay elements, meaning all your weapons suck as usual which defeats the overall FPS purpose in my book.